Its Joke Tym!

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Its Joke Tym!

Post by mod ronilo on November 19th 2008, 9:11 pm

This topic is expected to be the heaviest of em all...
post ur jokes here!
aku start..


NAKATIPID
Takbong pumasok ng bahay si Mario.
Pagud na pagod, pero masayang-masaya.
Nagmamayabang pa sa ina.
"Nanay! Nanay! Nakatipid ako ng uno singkwenta."
"Nakatipid? Paano?" tanong ng nanay.
"Aba'y 'di ako sumakay ng dyip.
Sumabay lang ako ng takbo.
Kaya't nakatipid ako ng one-fifty!"
"Bobo ka pala, eh. Kung taxi ang sinabayan mo,
'Di mas malaki ang natipid mo!"



BISAYANG MASAHISTA

BM: Sir, ano pong gusto niyo? SOP o MODIRIT?

Man: Ano bang sop o modirit mo day?

BM: Gusto mo SOPsopin ko muna o gusto MO-DIRITso na?



NANAY: ang lakas mo kumain di ka naman mautusan!!

ANAK: pag yung baboy natin ang malakas kumain natutuwa kayo, sino ba talaga anak nyo, nay wag ganun..


===============================================

FACELIFT
Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift?
Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000
Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata?
Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!


ORDER
Customer ... waiter! bakit ang tagal ng order ko? ilan ang cook nyo dito?
Waiter ... ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito...pipse lang. pipse!!


PROBLEMA NGA
Pasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umaga dumudumi ako...
Doktor ... so, anong problema doon?
Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.


CUSTOMER
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
Lady sitting next asked, 'are they your babies?'
Man: 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints!'


ACCIDENT
A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection.
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted,
'I'M THE SON OF THE VICTIM.'
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people...a pig bumped by a trailer truck!


PINTURA
Erap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo.
Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!!
Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.


MANNY PAKYAW
Reporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na?
Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa't round sa bukseng?


HIWALAYAN
Wife ... maghiwalay na tayo!
Man ... ok! akin ang bahay!
Wife ... Akin ang farm!
Man ... Akin ang kotse!
Wife ... Wag mo isama driver, matagal ng akin yan.
Man ... Magkakamatayan tayo! Akin siya!

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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by clydeharold on November 19th 2008, 9:23 pm


Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"



Teacher: “Alam mo naman sigurong you cannot sleep in my class, right?”
Student: Alam mo pala eh, kaya bawas-bawasan ninyo ang ingay niyo!”
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Juan Lorie on November 19th 2008, 10:07 pm

How come PROGRAMMERS don't have doors?



cause they only use WINDOWS!!!!!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 19th 2008, 10:22 pm

Juan wrote:How come PROGRAMMERS don't have doors?



cause they only use WINDOWS!!!!!

ka.corny ani oie...
ahaha!!

akong joke...

tan.awa lng nawng ni MYKIE! (lol myk Twisted Evil )
&& dats it!
Smile
aheheh!
joke nana..mkatawa ka!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Juan Lorie on November 19th 2008, 10:33 pm

[plastik]haha fany ka Rolling Eyes
hahaha peace!!

why are CS/IT students so good in english?

cos they're PRO-GRAMMARS!!!!!!!

tongue
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 19th 2008, 10:38 pm


mas plastik ka!
yaw ipasa nko!
hahhahah!!

cornyha jud oie.......


my grAndmOther stArted waLking five miLes a dAy wEn sHe wAs 60..shE's 97 nOw, && wE dOn't knOw wHere tHe heLL sHe iS....

tHere's aN old saying.. tHere's no pLace Like Home daw, well,
i wEnt n tHe hOuse nExt doOr, && it wAs very simiLar...

funi??hahha!

Very Happy


Last edited by miexykie || mei.mei on November 19th 2008, 10:41 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : b)
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Glee on November 19th 2008, 10:46 pm

****teacher nag klase****

Teacher: "Kinsay kaila ni Jose Rizal??, isa ang kamot."
**ug ni hilom ang klase hantod ni barog si Juan ug ni ingon**
Juan: "Basin pikas seksyon na xa ma'am."

xD


Last edited by Glee on November 19th 2008, 10:47 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : sayup..xD)
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 19th 2008, 10:51 pm

Spelling

Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
--Miguel: H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
--Miguel: H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
--Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig...

wahahah...katawaa nko ani!
:lol: :lol:


credits to: The Gracer Page ** myself...
Embarassed


Last edited by miexykie || mei.mei on November 19th 2008, 10:52 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : h)
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Juan Lorie on November 19th 2008, 10:53 pm

miexykie || mei.mei wrote:
mas plastik ka!
yaw ipasa nko!
hahhahah!!

mamasa lagi ang tupperware... hahaha

CS student: What are we gonna do now?!?!?!?

IT student:Hmmmmm...you SEE ES and I TEE!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Glee on November 19th 2008, 10:54 pm

****satanas nag lakaw2x sa park****

Pastor: Aha! satanas! sa ngalan ni Cristo, pahawa!!!!

satanas: Char!, murag tag-iya sa park....

lolx
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 19th 2008, 11:10 pm

Juan wrote:
miexykie || mei.mei wrote:
mas plastik ka!
yaw ipasa nko!
hahhahah!!

mamasa lagi ang tupperware... hahaha

CS student: What are we gonna do now?!?!?!?

IT student:Hmmmmm...you SEE ES and I TEE!

mas tupperware kahh!!!!
pinaka........sa tanan!
d kbw motype!
.ha.ha.ha.

juan
Professor: cno sa inyo ang nkaexperience having sex with ghosts????

tinaas ni juan ang kanyang kamay....

Professor: Really? ano ang feeling having sex with ghosts????

Juan: Ay putcha!!!! akala ko goats!!!


lol!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by ianebaj on November 20th 2008, 7:01 am

ang pag-aaral ay parang mahabang byahe...




masarap tulugan! Sleep
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by ianebaj on November 20th 2008, 7:03 am

quotes from the greatest warriors:

I came, I saw, I conquered - julius caesar
I shall return - D.McArthur

I will fight iniwan, iniwer, initym - PACMAN


lol!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by mod ronilo on November 20th 2008, 5:31 pm

doc: umubo ka..

pasyente: ubo! ubo!


(inilipat ang stethoscope)

doc: umubo ka ulit..

pasyente: ubo! ubo!



duktor ano ho ba talaga ang sakit ko?










doc: may ubo ka

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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 20th 2008, 9:43 pm

miexykie || mei.mei wrote:
Juan wrote:How come PROGRAMMERS don't have doors?



cause they only use WINDOWS!!!!!

ka.corny ani oie...
ahaha!!

akong joke...

tan.awa lng nawng ni MYKIE! (lol myk Twisted Evil )
&& dats it!
Smile
aheheh!
joke nana..mkatawa ka!
yaw baliha oie olivar, imo mana g.edit.. RONILO mn unta na nstead of mykie...dooh!!
hahhaha!!


JOKE:
teacher: get 1/2 sheet of paper.
students: 1/4 mam??

Smile) Smile) Smile)


Last edited by miexykie || mei.mei on November 20th 2008, 9:45 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : g)
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by mod ronilo on November 21st 2008, 5:26 am

may mga bagong ofw na nagtatrabaho sa saudi arabia ng minsang maisipan nilang mamasyal sa city may nakita silang club na maraming babaeng magaganda.

sinamantala nila ang pagkakataon na walang bantay kaya niyaya nilang mags3x ang babae sa kanila.

biglang dumating ang shiek...at galit na galit


shiek: dahil sa kawalang hiyaang ginawa ninyo sa mga "asawa" ko....parurusahan ko kayo sa pamamagitan ng inyong mga titeh ayon sa inyong mga propesyon!


shiek: ikaw lalaki? anong trabaho mo?

boy1: pulis po.

shiek: dahil jan babarilin ko etits mo....BANG!




shiek: ikaw naman ano trabaho mo?

boy2: isa po akong bumbero.

shiek: dahil jan susunugin ko ng torch ang etits mo...

boy2: aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




shiek: at ikaw! ano naman ang trabaho mo? ha!



boy3: ah eh nagtitinda po ako ng lollipop sa palengke..



shiek: sige laya kana!

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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by blanchiex on November 21st 2008, 5:15 pm

~
what do you get when you cross a penguin and a beach?
a formal bathing suit.

~
angelina: yaya oh! (ipinakita sa yaya ang duguang kamay.)
yaya: kawawa naman alaga ku. haleka, sesepsepen ni yaya.
...
....
.....
yaya: ayan, wala nang dugo! teka, saan ka ba nasogatan?
angelina: who told you na nasugatan me?? i just tiris the garapata of bantay. eeew yaya, you're such a loser!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Juan Lorie on November 21st 2008, 9:20 pm

what do you call a monkey who is plastic/tupperware?

mykie!!!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by Cake on November 22nd 2008, 6:25 pm

Man: Did you went fishing?

Woman: No why?

Man: Because I smell something fishy
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by meixykie233 on November 22nd 2008, 11:11 pm

Juan wrote:what do you call a monkey who is plastic/tupperware?

mykie!!!

whatever!!!
d ikaw tong juan oiee...juan jud title ato..ahahaha!!

yaw lge pamasa!! mas plastik || tupperware ka!!
cge pangaway! doOh!!
Very Happy sunny

joke:
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by mod ronilo on November 24th 2008, 5:33 am

3 boys at the mall:

BOY 1: Shocks! ang cute nung girl.
BOY 2: Sexy pa! Grabeh..
BOY 3: cno? yung nka mini skirt?
tawagin ko ha...


KUYAAAH!!!

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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by zer03six on November 30th 2008, 11:16 pm

Gloria is a ruler..

a Ruler is 12 inches..

therefore..

Gloria is 12 inches!!!!!

funny..

GREEN kaayo..wahahaha
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by beyondCADZlike on December 1st 2008, 6:13 pm

sa museum

guy:
mao ni inyo gitawag na art?? bati.a gud ani... oh! bisan unsaon ug tan.aw bati jud.. sus ginoo ko!! di nako makaya ug tan.aw.. tang2.a ni palihug be...


guy2:uhmm...sir.. mirror na xa..
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by ianebaj on December 1st 2008, 7:32 pm

HIDDEN SOLDIERS















-Pacman when ask what's the worlds number1 shampoo.
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

Post by ianebaj on December 1st 2008, 7:34 pm

Ina: Bakit buntis ka?

Anak: Project po ito sa school tungkol sa miracle of life.

Ina: Sino ama niyan? sabihin mo!

Anak: Nay, madami po eh. group project kasi!

lol!
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Re: Its Joke Tym!

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